Ah…First post.

I’ll be very honest with you guys, this isn’t my very very first post – that one went about a year ago, and I’m still quite happy with it. For those of you who are quite privileged to know, this is my second blog – and for those of you not privileged to know…well, sucks to miss out I guess.

Old news aside, I would wanna say that this is gonna be something new. This time, this blog’s open sited. For those of you who do not want their names and whatnot to be published, I’ll still keep the codenames in for a little while. But please do tell if you do not mind your names to be used.

Okay, So that’s the technical things aside.

For those of you who do not have a blog, I encourage you to have one – not because people can see what you’re writing, but so that people can know your life. We’re all connected in this world, and no, that’s not a new-agey sort of concept, we just are. So that’s why I want my readers to also start their blogs and just vent. Make this for you and not your reader. Heck, make a private blog if you must.

I realised this power when I wrote my first blog – it was made into a life of its own. It was something that cannot be replaced nor rewritten, but it has served its purpose. The reason why the black book is opened and now closed is quite plain and simple.

to answer the question that always goes through our heads but we never voice it.


“What now?”


Over the course of the whole year that the black book was there, I grew as a person, as Adrian. For me life has always been something else, so I always had to be someone else. Life was work, success, career, marriage – so I had to be someone else.

The worker

The overachiever

The visionary leader

The perfect boyfriend / Husband material and nominee for the “Best spouse of the Century” award



And in all that time, I never learnt how to be just Adrian.



I met a guy in South Africa.

He was left by his parents as a baby, and grew up in the wrong crowd. Long story short he was in a gang doing drugs so much so that he ended up having visions of blood. Not once or twice.

All the time


Every moment of his waking – Red. It affected him so profoundly that he wanted to take his own life.

Then a Hero rescued him.

Back then, just about a year ago now, that South African ex-gangster guy told me of his story and I realised one thing. I needed that Hero too.

Just take a moment to take this all in.






Me, the missionary, realised that I needed a Hero – a Saviour.

Me, the guy who’s preached in front of people, took kids under my wing and saved souls ‘In His Name’, needed the ex-con to tell me what I needed was what he got.

All my life I’ve lived right – no drugs, not much alcohol (I’ve drank, I’m not gonna lie to yeh), no smoking. I’ve lived on the right side of the tracks and woke up (almost) everyday on the right side of the bed. All my life I’ve been striving to be this label called a ‘Christian’ and lived my life by the book.

What I didn’t realise was that the ‘by the book’ life is not life at all.

I needed someone to save me from that life. I needed someone to just rescue me from the life that everyone says I should have – a car, a job, a house.

I needed a Hero.

I needed someone to stop telling me the answer to “why this?”

and start telling me the answer to “What now?”





This blog is a story of that Hero.

And this blog is my story.

If you want to follow along, please come for the ride. I know you’re looking for answers. I know you may even be looking for the questions you want to find the answers to. Guess what, I’m on the same page as you are.

You may be asking “Why this?” or “Why did this happen to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or even just plain and simple: “Why?”

I don’t know.

But lets find out together.

-end of first post-


Ps. to all my kids – I miss you all 🙂 Please contact me on this blog or on facebook 🙂 and oh yeah, just wanna say that I’m embarking on a new challenge – to blog once a day for 365 days starting today, Wednesday 12th January 2011 🙂 so Tune in 🙂